I BOUGHT THIS RECORD AND MY LIFE ISN’T BETTER!

A local man is set to take legal action over a claim made by pop sensation The Tamperer.

Mr Jake McSpredder, is an unemployed gas fitter from Cramlington in Northumberland. He is currently suffering from throat cancer, liver failure, chronic bronchitis and anal warts following the death of his wife. He heard The Tamperer’s latest hit record on Radio One and says that he only bought it because of the claim “If you buy this record your life will be better” which is made in the song lyrics.

Four weeks later Mr McSpredder has lost his brother in a motorbike accident, had his dog ran over by a car and has caught the HIV virus.

Mr McSpredder told us “I don’t believe that anyone could say that my life is any better and The Tamperer should be bloody ashamed of themselves. I feel totally ripped off. That record cost me £3.99 and I want my money back and compensation for building up my hopes like that.”

A spokesman for Pepper Records who produce the song said “I’m sorry that Mr McSpredder’s life has not improved following his purchase of the record but I don’t quite see what it’s got to do with Newcastle City Council. I think you may have the wrong number.”

Mr McSpredder who volunteered himself as an industrial chemical tester several years ago is currently undergoing psychiatric tests at a local hospital. We will keep you informed of any further developments if this case goes to court.